If you are not, stop reading this now and go and download that song. I’ll wait.
I do have a disease though. More like a neurosis. I have this fiery desire to have a 4.0 average in school. You have been with me throughout this semester and you know that I am no model student. An Arizona trip, skipping class because of a run – in with the law, procrastination, blogging and more procrastination have all seriously impeded the possibility for a special award upon graduation.
You would think that all of these factors, to any logical and intelligent person would dictate that I should aim a little lower as far as my grades are concerned. I guess that means I am none of those things because I am seriously working toward and hoping for a 4.0.
Ironically, I am not a fan of the 4.0. I think it creates stress and a poor quality of life for anyone who tries to achieve it. Once you have it you drive yourself and everyone around you absolutely bonkers trying to maintain it the following semester.
I have achieved it before. A few times actually. It’s a drug – that’s what it is. I remember wanting to laminate my grades and tape them to my forehead.
If you knew me in high school or grade school you are laughing. I can hear you. You think this is comedy. It kind of is. In those years, I had all I could do to show up.
So why now is it so darned important? I don’t know. It is a feeling of validation I guess.
I was a college drop out for far longer in my life than I was a graduate. It was intimidating as hell going back. Having good grades really substantiates why I am doing this. As shallow as it may seem, it substantiates my self-worth as a student.
I only need a B average to graduate. No job that I will ever apply to will care one hoot about my grade point average. They don’t put your GPA on your diploma. For all of these reasons, it really matters to no one but me if I have a 4.0. For all of those reasons, I should stop trying to earn it.
But I just started my master’s program and right now my record is perfect because the grades aren’t in yet. So the neurosis has kicked in. I will be up late a lot these next few days trying to get my last of my papers just perfect in the hopes… the hopes that maybe one day…
I will get into a good mental institution.